Calling All Fathers, Be Responsible for yoru Children

Calling All Fathers - Can We Talk???
Being a father is a magical and humbling event, fathers go through many transformations as we and our children age. The Gospel according to Matthew starting in Chapter One from verse one to sixteen reads who beget whom. These are men who beget children through out the chapters in the Bible in this chaper of scripture.
In verse six of Chapter One, David who is King of Isreal beget Solomon, but from an affair with Uria’s wife. Despite this, Solomon grew to become one of the wisest men in history and anointed by God. In the face of the sin of David a good thing became of it. Reading further, in verse sixteen Jacob beget Joseph who went on to marry Mary who was carrying Jesus, later called Christ. Jesus was not the result of intercourse between Mary and Joseph, but from an event that is Biblical in nature. Joseph took upon the role and responsibility of an earthy father to Jesus and eventually a husband to Mary (Chapter 1:20). This shows that step-fathers are important to children that are part of the ''package'' of a relationship with a woman that has children.
Responsibilities
The responsibilities of a father, step-father and husband are sometimes the result of influences and circumstances that are beyond understanding. Affairs of the heart and of the body cannot be justified, but God can bring a good thing from sin.
'He spoke a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint (Luke 18:1). Temptation comes in the flesh, and we are all tempted, but the result of fainting is in one’s flesh and spirit when we as men give in to the temptation. Being a man also includes making decisions not just for ourselves, but for others in our lives. In the case of Joseph (step-father to Jesus), how many men would care for and raise a child from a situation of Mary’s? Joseph listened to the Word of God after an angel spoke to him in a dream. How many men would listen or ignore those words that were spoken? What about David’s situation, many men have circum to the temptations of the flesh, but this does not mean the sin has to consume them. They need to pray for forgiveness and accept the responsibility of the sin and importantly not repeat it.
If through the course of sexual interaction a child is conceived, yes it is the man's and woman's responsibility to care for the child. The child did not ask to be brought into this world, but if the sex is consenual both parents are responcible for raising the child.
Birth and Sin
We are all born into a world of sin, but we do not have to have the world in us. God punished David for his sins as we all are punished, but as men we must recognize and respond accordingly to our sinful urges. We are models to younger men who watch us and seek guidance. This guidance does not always come in words, but in our actions.
Throughout time many men have not worshipped God openly to show their children a better prayer life, and how it can lead to a life filled with the presence of God. In John, Chapter 4:24 God is a spirit and we must worship in spirit and truth. Maybe this lack of open prayer and praise is one of the causes of so many of our young men going astray into a world of violence and sin.
Fathers, our spiritual energies do not compare to our emotional energies in our sports teams. How different would our lives be as fathers and men if our prayer life was as strong as our enthusiasm for our sports teams and hobbies? As men we love to model “manly behavior” for our sons in sporting events, but how many of us display the same amount of dedication and devotion in our prayer life? In Matthew Chapter 6:33, what should we seek in a prayer life? “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you”. How much of a difference would it make in children respecting their mothers and fathers if fathers are actively modeling respect? How much of a difference would it make if our children did pray as their fathers prayed throughout the day for guidance and wisdom? We cannot afford to be critical of those who worship in the name of God when their faith is strongly and openly displayed, but our faith is hidden behind embarrassment, shame or weakness. When emotions are displayed by men their sons follow suite, but be careful the type of emotions that are displayed. When was the last time you drank a beer watching football or hockey and thought or said, “I can’t wait for my son to be old enough to join me!” To coincide with this when was the last time we had our sons pray with us and share in devotion? Is it easier to share beer time than prayer (devotional) time? Is it easier to hang on the corner than hang in church?? Where are our priorities in raising our young men to be men. Where is the humor or love in sharing a beer and not a bible or scripture time?
Changing World
The world is changing daily, as in Revelation Chapter 1:3 “Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand”. The time is at hand now fathers when our young sons are killing each other for drugs, sex, weapons, and other things they view as momentarily satisfying, but easily fleeting. In Matthew Chapter 3:17 God says, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased”. Our young men in today’s society need to hear this more from their fathers, if our heavenly father can say it to his son, why can’t earthly fathers say it to their sons? Maybe if this were the case, our young men not only in our Black communities, but other communities would not have as many violent deaths as they do. Let us all remember the three institutions that desire our children, Spiritual, Educational and Correctional institutions. It is up to us as men to guide our children to the correct institutions of Spiritual and Educational growth.
Fathers, Step-fathers and Grandfathers must realize the responsibility of their place in a child’s life regardless if they are in the home or not, regardless of the “Baby Mama Drama” that sometimes happens. It is cowardice to make excuses for not calling or writing just to say “I love you” and “How are you doing”. It is inexcusable for not taking time to eat lunch with your child, or visit them at their school, but we can take the time to “run with the boys”. How many more cases of our young men dropping out of school, physical aggression towards women, disrespect to authority and teachers, drugs, crime and violence will it take for more men to tell their sons, “I Love You” and ''I’m proud of you''.
Create a Balance
Fathering is a balance of prayer, discipline, love, negotiation, trust and communication. It does not come easy as I can testify being a parent of two, a son 17and daughter 13 who live in another city. Trying to be a parent and modeling from afar, but relying on God's grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness of my sins. Working to model for the young men in my life that I teach as an educator, and mentor to, being looked upon as a father figure and occasionally being called ''daddy'' by both boys and girls who lack a fathers presence in their lives or a positive male role model that they see. Other male teachers are also addressed as daddy from elementary to high schools in our school district. Every day I ask for God's grace and guidance in my teaching of the young people I see every day. I pray to keep me humble, calm, caring, respectful to all (even parents who cus you for taking care of their children everyday), strong in my faith and cover me from harm and danger of those who do not know the Lord or do not care for him.
Separation from Church and State
There is a separation of church and state, but I cannot separate God from my spirit and my heart when working with children who will be our leaders of the future. I just pray that more fathers allow God to come into their hearts and be the fathers and daddies that their children need. The goal as fathers and men is to help raise productive adults who will lead positive and God loving lives. As the African proverb states, “it takes a village to raise a leader” (Paterson, K 2001, http://www.racematters.org/ittakesavillage.htm).
Our villages; the multicultural community of Jacksonville, Florida, needs to unite all our young men and start loving and teaching our young men to pray and be prayerful in all things before we lose yet another generation. It is not the Mayors, the Governors, the City Council, the JSO, nor the Presidents responsibility to raise our young men, but the responsibility of men to raise men from Boys To Men. No one should be angry with Obama, Cosby, Jackson, Sharpton or me if we are telling the truth about men if they are not taking responsibility for their children. God views our actions and inactions, the results can be seen on our TV's, in newspapers and in our classrooms.
Conclusion
When are we going to live up to the legacy of Kings, Generals, Teachers, Physicians, Pastors, Scientists and community leaders? It takes a leader, but the men are supposed to lead first and pray for guidance in all things. We cannot throw money at the problems in our community nor increase the police or sheriff's department as the mayor has stated to address the problems we face with our young people. These are only preventive/stop gap measures that will address certain populations of our the community. It will take the interaction of fathers, step-fathers, grandfathers and male role models to step up and become involved in a young mans life and young girls life to guide them in the direction that builds character, a thirst for knowledge, success, education and a closeness with God.

Sexting and Texting

Is Your Child Sexting in Church and School?
The invasiveness of 21st century handheld technology into churches is not limited to the pulpit, pews and choir stands, nor the classroom, lunchrooms, and bathrooms of our schools. Students are using their handheld devices for other reasons besides worshiping and studying. In recent years technology has invaded our places of worship and educational institutions causing distractions and disruptions. Displays of this invasion can be seen when our Pastors forget to turn off their blackberries during preaching time, when deacons and deaconesses try to discretely tell those who are calling that they are on ministerial duty or when church choir members gospel songs/worldly songs play on their cell phones as they perform praise and worship. Every Sunday a new routine is added before services begin or during the week before instruction in school; people are being told to turn off or silence their digital devices and not to text. We have all chuckled, smiled, scowled, or tried to ignore these digital intrusions in our worship times. There are even jokes in movies that when a cell phone rings, the preacher in "The Fighting Temptations," “that better be Jesus calling” is the popular statement.
Teens and Adults: The digital incursion is not limited to teens, but adults are the culprits often times. We cannot always lay blame on our young people for the use of digital tools to communicate with family and friends. The use or misuse of digital communication devices is obvious, but the use of them in an inappropriate environment and the use of inappropriate language in songs and lyrics is growing in our society. Adults must set the example, correct behaviors that our children exhibit and make sure adults are not the culprits.
Defining Sexting: Wikipedia; sexting is defined as,” the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between cell phones” (www.wikipedia.com). The technology is such that not only can photos be sent but video, audio and links to web sites. The multimedia experience can be displayed digitally on cell phone screens which creates a major concern for ISP’s (Internet Service Providers) and cell phone companies, the content that is sent through them is border line inappropriate, this material skirting the edges of child and teen porn being sent by texting, many ISP’s and cell phone companies are reexamining their policies on pictures, text and video. Police detective Vern Myers in Colorado on investigating several cases states, "on something like that it's child pornography. If you take that picture, you're manufacturing it; if you send that picture, then you're distributing it”. Throughout the U.S. at least four states, sexting kids are facing charges of child pornography and sexual exploitation of a minor. Parents are encouraged to check their child’s texting history, and who is in their texting group of friends. If there is no resistance then the teen has nothing to hide, but if teens are defiant especially if the parent is paying the bill then there is a problem.
Social Interaction and Social Networking: The participation in social networking has allowed teens to be involved in more risky behaviors because there is more interaction at a personal level. If you post personal information on a social site like MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, etc , then others that are your friends can add you as a friend and see that you are a potential candidate for that type of behavior. There is more exposure to people or groups that teens would not have been exposed to before. Even without the digital aspects of social networking there have been these types of exchanges in magazines and newspapers, but in non-direct ways, not so directly targeted and participated in by teens. Documented in Wikipedia, “messages with sexual content have been exchanged over all forms of historical media”, but was not directly participated in by teens. These advanced types of media exchanges just allow for faster and more explicit materials to be shared. One of the dangers that teens are experiencing is that they may share a photo or video with a friend, but it only takes minutes for it be forwarded by text, email, twitter, etc to others. “A social danger with sexting is that material can be very easily and widely promulgated, over which the originator has no control” The Institute for Responsible Online and Cell-Phone Communication (I.R.O.C.). This loss of control has possibly cost the life of several young ladies who shared photos with their boyfriends, but that material was spread to others after they broke-up.
Law Enforcement Investigations: When investigations are being performed there are varied reasons for this kind of action. The Nat. Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, Bill Alpert found that, the primary reason young people give is they say this is a fun or flirtatious activity," Alpert says further, "of more concern is the second primary reason they cite — among girls — is they do this as a sexy present for their boyfriends." Girls do not realize the danger they present to their reputations and future status in school and the community. Boys will pass pictures on to their friends and to the football/basketball team ; in the case of (Ohio ) Jessica Logan who hanged herself in her bedroom, she was 18 (TODAY Show.com March. 6, 2009). “She had sent nude pictures of herself to a boyfriend. When they broke up, he sent them to other high school girls and the football team. The girls were harassing her, she was miserable and depressed, afraid even to go to school”. Because of the nature of these situations school officials are sometimes powerless unless the students are actually caught with the cell phone device taking the picture or texting.
Public Officials: It is difficult to tell young people not to do something unless there is public notice and adults are put in criminal situations. Across America; public officials and religious leaders are being investigated because of questionable texting. Their texts and emails are being scrutinized more and more because of who they are texting and their possible content. These electronic messages are stored on servers and archived for years. One case is that of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his texting case. “Controversy began when over 14,000 text messages were recently discovered that had been passed between Kilpatrick and Beatty. The texts supported the theory that the two were involved in a sexual relationship at the time and also supported the claims that they had conspired…” The Detroit News. "Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Shamed by Text Messages".
School Policies: In various districts throughout Florida; school districts currently have a policy that prohibits students from using cell phones during school time, and that includes text messaging. District officials implemented the policy to curb students from using cell phones and camera phones to cheat on tests. This policy in some form is implemented throughout Florida. There are cases that texting is being used to bully students as well. In a November 2007 survey it was found by Boost Mobile “that text messages have been used to bully 24 per cent of young people. Texting was used in almost 90 per cent of cases of harassment of people aged between 13 and 18 years
via mobile telephone”.
Laws on Record: The question on many peoples minds, are there laws? Parry Aftab, an Internet security expert explained there are laws, but with any accusation “It depends on the age of the child. If somebody’s under the age of 18, it’s child pornography, and even the girl that posted the pictures can be charged. They could be registered sex offenders”. During his work Aftab states that, “Forty-four percent of the boys say that they’ve seen sexual images of girls in their school, and about 15 percent of them are disseminating those images when they break up with the girls.” Girls don’t think that boys will do this until it is too late. Parents need to be diligent to the activities of their teens when they are using cell phones. It is literally a matter of live and death; teens reputations which could be affected, future job opportunities, public service, political office and relationships. If the parent is paying the bill or the child is living at home then the parent assumes responsibility for their child’s actions.

William Jackson, M.Ed.
William.jackson@ewc.edu - www.jacksonville.com/interact/blog/william_jackson

Mothers Day Is Every Day

Don’t Get It Twisted
Mother’s Day Is Every Day
Especially When Mothers Day is Gone

Quote
"Honor your father and mother, which is the first
commandment with promise: that it may be well with
you and you may live long on the earth."
[Ephesians 6:2, 3 NKJV]


Celebration of you “Mothers.”
The meaning of Mother’s Day cannot really be clarified by fancy articulated words organized in a card, nor a floral arrangement of flowers to display love, appreciation, thanks and Blessings. The gestures given in the form of gifts, meals, hugs, kisses, money, and other representations of affection by family and friends only shows an emotional feeling for that day and a few beyond.
Mother’s Day is celebrated annually in May, but
Don’t Get It Twisted - Mother’s Day Is Every Day

It began as a well-established tradition going back to Philadelphia in 1907,
and continues on into the 21st century. Rarely in this day and age of high tech,
fast paced and instant gratification do things this meaningful last.

Quote
“We are in a culture that holds mothers to a maddening
standard of mythological perfection”. (Unknown)

All mothers have the unique Blessings of God because he knew that children needed to be nurtured, loved, and taught how to be respectful and how to pray. Mothers are a child’s first teacher of life. A mother has the responsibility to teach their child how to be caring for family and friends, the importance of education and notably their first introduction to God. Mother’s wisdom is that when they are not with their children God is the one who is watching over them, keeping their babies out of danger and steering them clear of harm and hurt. Mothers know they are the foundation of humanity. Humanity exists and prospers because Mothers are still in control. Human beings by our very nature need to be loved, recognized and from time to time provided hugs, and affection, what better person than the mother who carried you for 9 months or the mother who may not have carried you and given birth to you,
but who has taken on that role as a mother.

Quote
"A mother is not a person to lean on but person to make leaning unnecessary." (Dorothy Fisher)

Even biblically it is written in the Bible mothers play a key role in the development of generations, not just in the bearing of children, but in the reinforcement of family traditions, passing down of family history, helping children to understand their key roles and direction in life,
and teaching young girls how to be good mothers.

In Solomon, 8:2 (KJ Version), it is written that, “I would lead thee,
and bring thee into my mother's house, who would instruct me”.
Solomon, purported to be the wisest man in the world honors his mother
and recognizes her instruction to him.
Jesus respected his mother when she asked him to turn
water to wine at a wedding, John 2:3 (KJ Version).
Moses mother loved him so much that she sacrificed him to live and
was blessed to get him back, Exodus 1:1-8 (KJ Version).
Hagar in Genesis 16 was blessed with a son who would be the father
of many nations. Genesis 16 (KJ Version)

Quote
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money." (Abigail Van Buren)

We come to celebrate you as women of stature, women of honor and praise your involvement in your child’s life or the children that you support. Be aware that you are building tomorrow’s leaders, world leaders in commerce, education, politics, industry, medicine, science and other disciplines around the world.
Please continue to do what you are doing by giving children love and
teaching them to strive for success, helping your child to gain the confidence in their abilities that they can conquer the world. Children need to know that they can control their lives with the choices that they make, and with your guidance, love, advice and prayers have the freedom to make good and beneficial choices and decisions.

Quote
“The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms”.
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Men may think they run things, but they should not get it twisted, when a mother speaks and gets to praying we all stop and listen.
Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, mentors, surrogate mothers, and those in your respective roles deserve respect, praise and love on your day and beyond.
Don’t Get It Twisted – Mothers Day Is Everyday

"Blessed is the Mother...
Who can hold onto her children while letting them go;
Who puts a tranquil home ahead of an immaculate house;
Who knows a kind act will be remembered longer than an easy word;
Who really believes that prayer changes things;
Whose faith in the future sweetens the present;
Whose Bible never needs dusting; and
Whose sense of humor is alive and well." (The Promoter)