Empowering Men to Actively Participate In Their Children’s Education

Empowering Men to Actively Participate In Their Children’s Education
Dads, stepfathers and fathers are being challenged more and more to visit their child(rens) school from elementary to high school, but what if they have never taken the opportunity to go to the school, how do they prepare for it? As crazy as it may seem, many dads have anxiety and apprehension about making the “visit”.
It is not as easy as it sounds, you do not just pop in and announce you are here to see your child(ren) teachers; there are guidelines and procedures to follow. Mothers have traditionally visited the schools unless circumstances require the male member to perform this duty. Mothers have handled homework, school projects, parent/teacher conferences, lunch money issues, etc. The responsibilities and frustrations that accompany these parental duties are taken care of by mothers who view this as an added part of being a mom. This is not to say that dads cannot be effective, but moms are the main school intercessory for families.
In this twenty-first century, dads, step dads, uncles and older brothers are taking charge and going out to the schools. There are surprisingly, but expected resultscoming from males showing up at the schoolhouse. Behavior is significantlyimproved, academic growth is shown, overall performance in the educational environment is drastically changed, and graduation rates are up because of theinvolvement of male parents concerned in their child’s learning.
The question is WHY??
Children want their parents especially fathers (a male parental figure) to visit their school unless they really have something to hide, then there is a great need to haveseveral school visits. I have always visited my children’s school and this has provided me a basis to talk about their day, what they learned, how are their friends and other important questions.Taking a day off. Taking a day off from work is the only option being an educator myself. Visiting two children

is not easy, my own biological children who live almost two hours away, butit is a sacrifice the I gladly take to prohibit letters and phone calls later.
Education importance
Expressing your desire for your children’s success in business, the military or other avenues is important, but making sure that your children need a quality education and instilling this in them early is important. Know, "I can contribute to their education”, that is what a real father or dad does. I cannot stick my chest out only when sports are involved or awards, it is all or nothing. During the good and the not so good, that is what makes a real parent. Like the saying goes, “the longer you feed them the more they look like you”. I don’t just want them to look like me; I want them to excel academically and be better than me. Fathers push our children to excel in education, this is because we should and need to we know the importance of a good education especially if you are a minority in these United States.

Extra baggage is good sometimes.
Men are finding that they get “extra baggage” when they visit their child’s school. There may be another child that clings or connects to you. Be careful about creating a bond or connection. Remember some children’s parents will not visit their child’s school for reasons what we do not understand nor connect with. Some children may be jealous of you and your child, but you can always complement them on their accomplishments as well.
Children will be children
Children will be children and no one said it would be easy. They will try you and see how far they can push you. You and your wife or significant partner must have a united front that means constant and continuous open communication. No one person always has the right answer when dealing with kids. You both must be willing to compromise and do what is best for the family and at times that means sacrificing for the family. Data shows the results of men being involved in their children’s lives. There is more of an impact when “dad” visits than mom. As stated on the web site, Fatherhood Online, that is developed from the National Fatherhood Initiative. There are posted ten “father facts”, number ten states, “Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers” (1994-2006). With data showing such positive results there is a great desire to get more fathers, especially minority fathers involved in their children’s academic lives regardless if they are present in the home or not.
In support of bringing out fathers to schools, educational institutions especially elementary schools can support the concept of involving dad by providing activities such as the ones suggested here by, (Weiss, C 2000) “Bring fathers into preschools, schools, community centers. Create father/child events such as dad-child lunches, dad and child playtime, after-school father tutoring”. Giving dads an opportunity to participate in events just geared to them helps break the ice and welcomes them into a world traditionally attended by women. Not being in the picture by men leads to a dangerous trend by many children they to cope with the loss of the parent, mostly the father through separation and divorce. The risk of dropping out of school is greater as found by, (McLanahan and Sandefur, 1994; Zill, Morrison, and Coiro, 1993). Children need the support that two parents can provide. As hard as a parent may try they cannot replace theabsent parent and in most cases it is the father that has departed from the relationship. From the research performed by, (McLanahan and Sandefur, 1994; Amato, 1993), “mothers are more likely than fathers to retain custody of the children in the event of divorce”.
Studies have contradicted themselves in the overall performance of students in school that are living with one parent, but contact by the other parent (father) is still very important. Finding the data that supports, studies have found (Peterson and Zill, 1986; Wallerstein and Kelly, 1980) “continued contact to be related to improved psychological scores, fewer behavioral problems, and better peer relationships” contribute to relatively normal lives of students. Resident fathers visit the child’s school more, 55 percent of fathers in two-parent families attended a general school meeting, compared to 18 percent of nonresident fathers attended a general school meeting. These numbers do not trivialize the need for all fathers regardless of marital situation to go tothe school and be involved.
So the challenge is on, data has shown that our young people need their fathers and dads. Let us not forget that in these times of high performance academic standards, state assessments, peer pressure, drugs and pressures to have sex our children need a strong male figure for proper guidance. Don’t let the streets or those that do not haveyour child’s best interests take control. Be a positive force in your child’s academic and behavioral growth and development.



William Jackson, M.Ed.

"Copyright William Jackson, All Rights Reserved 2008"

Prayer Is Needed This School Year For Our Teachers

Schools have begun another academic year aimed at educating youth that attend their educational institutions across this country. This in of itself is a daunting task based on the number of schools that are servicing students in greater numbers. These numbers continue to increase each year as birth rates rise among our youth. This is enough to give pause to pray for those that are children bringing children into the world. We as educators for the most part have no say so as to “who” we educate. We can only pray that we reach as many as we can to save them from a possible life of poverty and educational ignorance. This is not to say that parents are in dire straits economically and educationally, but because of the economic status of our country and geopolitical instability of our world, today everyone is affected by rising costs to maintain a lifestyle, feed a family and continue a quest for higher education.

How have teachers prepared for a new school year and to be a positive impact on the students in their classrooms? Teachers have worked this summer as in past summers preparing their classrooms for new and returning students. They participated in professional development training(s), workshops and symposiums in reading, math, classroom discipline, and science initiatives. They upgraded or renewed their ESOL certification. They have improved their technical skills on the computer using grade book programs, attendance databases, productivity applications, and mapping programs for student achievement. What other qualifying courses or programs must they learn to better service students that are preparing to come into schools nationwide, individually and collectively teacher must know how to teach children.

Teachers have worries and concerns too, remember they are parents, grandparents, and guardians themselves. As the saying goes, “teachers teach because they care”. Remember this before you judge or cast doubt on a teacher’s love for teaching or their caring for your child. Their ability to inspire, motivate and convince your child that education is the key to a happy existence is dependent on their ability as some Pastors or Ministers to reach your child where you cannot.
Did you realize that teachers:
Teachers feed their families with their earnings and sometimes your children as well. When was the last time you thanked a teacher for feeding your child when they did not have lunch money?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher when they combed your child’s hair because you did not have time to do it?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher when they paid for your child’s field trip because you just did not have the money?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher who gave your child a ride home when it was to cold to walk or raining and you had to work late?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher who tutored your child on their own time so they would not be retained again?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher who called to check on your child who had an illness?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher who purchased your child clothes because they wanted to be a blessing and you could not afford to?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher who purchased your child glasses because they could not see in their classroom and you could not afford to buy a new pair?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher who went out of their way to give you a smile, hug or prayed for you when you were in need?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher when they spoke to law enforcement or child services so you would not go to jail or lose your children?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher who gave you positive words about your child even though everyone else had given up on them?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher who invited you to church and your family?
When was the last time you thanked a teacher for inviting you and your family to dinner because food was short at your home?

When was the last time you thanked a teacher……………………..

These are just some of the things teachers deal with to help their students learn, to prepare your child for growth in the school year and help you as a parent. Remember teachers are teaching your child, how supportive are you in the educational process of your child? What have you as a parent done to prepare your child to be successful in the academic environment? Are your child’s shot records updated, do you know the bus routes with pickup and drop off times, do you know what time school will start and end? Who are your child’s teacher(s) that are entrusted in developing your child’s educational, emotional and social development?
Parents do sometimes loose focus on what school is about.School is not about who has the prettiest hair, cutest dress, tightest shoes or crunkest outfit. It is not about new lunch boxes, extra money for snacks or the best book bags. Unfortunately many children will not have these items because of socioeconomic circumstances, some will be dressed in the same outfits they had last school year, carry the same book bags and wearing the same shoes. School is not a fashion show, models runway, popularity contest, nor “look at my child and see how much money I spent” mentality.

Let us put things in perspective, my point as a parent and educator in a public school system and on the college level is, are your children prepared mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally for school? Are your children going to be respectful to the teacher and administrators or cause fearful glances and muffled prayers of deliverance from your child? Have you been doing your job as a parent preparing your child to have a successful school year? That should not be decided during the school year after progress reports, referrals, sticky notes, parent conferences, phone calls or from state assessments. When your child reports to school you as a parent should know what the school year holds for your child. Participating in the educational experience is what real parents do, they do not make excused, make up lies or avoid the teacher giving them the opportunity for a brief conference. Parents are you going to eat you lunch with your children this year, talk to your children about their day, talk to your child’s teacher(s) instead of cussing them out in front of their educational peers and their students because you as a parent are not doing your job to teach your child the right way?

How supportive are you as a parent going to be to the educational process instead of finding excuses for your child? This is a new year and a new challenge, a new journey to prepare your child for independence or do you want to take care of them when they get into their 40’s?

Fathers, take a day off from work to eat lunch with your kids at school, I do when I drive over an hour to see my children and talk to their teachers. Fathers check report cards, progress reports and be a positive role model to your children. Let them see you, see that you care, see the value that you place on education. Trust me, even if you come from work to visit your child for a few hours, look at the positive message you are sending to your children, and other children when you just say hello to them. If you can, volunteer time, don’t worry about your educational level or employment status, look at it as an opportunity to influence your child’s world from your experiences and how you value learning. Things are not always what it seems from outside the school window, you can be a blessing not only to your child, but that child that sees you visiting.

Prayers do work even if there is a separation of church and state. We all need guidance, wisdom and working together as a TEAM to build successful leaders for our future. Our children will be the future leaders: mayors, city council persons, lawyers, doctors, principals, guidance counselors, senators, and maybe even a president or vice president. How we support all our children now will determine how or if our communities will grow in the future and what direction they will take.

Yes, I will be in deep prayer for this school year for my educational peers with budget cutbacks in our school districts nationwide, lunch money increases for families already struggling to feed their children at home, cutbacks on school supplies, gas increases and unemployment rising.

Even an atheist may pray when hard times hits them and their families, but as for me and my family “We shall and will worship the Lord”.

Five things teachers need this school year…
1. FaithMark 11:22-24…."And Jesus answered saying to them, 'Have faith in God. Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, "Be taken up and cast into the sea," and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him. Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.'" 2. PersistenceLuke 11:5-10 says, "Then He said to them, 'Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, "Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him"; and from inside he answers and says, "Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything." I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened.'"
3. Without Ceasing1 Thessalonians 5:17 says in a nut shell… "pray without ceasing." Ephesians 6:18 says, "With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints."4. RighteousnessJames 5:16 says, "The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." 5. According to God's Will1 John 5:14-15 says, "And this is the confidence that we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him."

William Jackson, M.Ed."Copyright William Jackson All Rights Reserved 2008"

Applying The Books of Matthews, John and Luke To Fathers In The 21st Century

Being a father is a magical and humbling event in a man’s life regardless of his age. Fathers go through many transformations as they age. The Gospel according to Matthew starting in Chapter One from verse one to sixteen reads who beget whom. These are men who beget children through out the chapters. In verse six of Chapter One, David who is King beget Solomon, but from an affair with Uria’s wife. Despite this, Solomon grew to become one of the wisest men in history and anointed by God. In the face of the sin of David a good thing became of it. Reading further, in verse sixteen Jacob beget Joseph who went on to marry Mary who was carrying Jesus, later called Christ. Jesus was not the result of intercourse between Mary and Joseph, but from an event that is Biblical in nature. Joseph took upon the role and responsibility of an earthy father to Jesus and eventually a husband to Mary (Chapter 1:20).

The responsibilities of a father and husband are sometimes the result of influences and circumstances that are beyond understanding. Affairs of the heart and of the body cannot be justified, but God can bring a good thing from sin. "He spoke a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint (Luke 18:1). Temptation comes in the flesh, and we are all tempted, but the result of fainting is in one’s spirit when we as men give in to the temptation. Being a man also includes making decisions not just for ourselves, but for others.In the case of Joseph, how many men would care for and raise a child from a situation of Mary’s? Joseph listened to the Word of God. How many men would listen or ignore those words? What about David’s situation, many men have circum to the temptations of the flesh, but this does not mean the sin has to consume them. They need to pray for forgiveness and accept the responsibility of the sin and importantly not repeat it. We are all born into a world of sin, but we do not have to have the world in us. God punished David for his sins as we all are punished, but as men we must recognize and respond accordingly to our sinful urges. We are models to younger men who watch us and seek guidance. This guidance does not always come in words, but in our actions.Throughout time many men have not worshipped God openly as fathers to show their children a better prayer life, and how it can lead to a life filled with the presence of God. In John, Chapter 4:24 God is a spirit and we must worship in spirit and truth.

Fathers, our spiritual energies do not compare to our emotional energies in our sports teams. How different would our lives be as fathers and men if our prayer life is as strong as our enthusiasm for our sports teams? As men we love to model “manly behavior” for our sons in sporting events, but how many of us display the same amount of dedication and devotion in our prayer life? In Matthew Chapter 6:33, what should we seek in a prayer life? “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you”. How much of a difference would it make in children respecting their mothers and fathers if fathers are actively modeling respect? How much of a difference would it make if our children did pray as their fathers prayed throughout the day for guidance and wisdom? We cannot afford to be critical of those who worship in the name of God when their faith is strongly openly displayed, but our faith is hidden behind embarrassment, shame or weakness. When emotions are displayed by men their sons follow suite. When was the last time we drank a beer watching football or hockey and thought or said, “I can’t wait for my son to be old enough to join me!” To coincide with this when was the last time we had our sons pray with us and share in devotion? Is it easier to share beer time than prayer (devotional) time?

The world is changing daily, as in Revelation Chapter 1:3 “Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand”. The time is at hand now fathers when our young sons are killing each other for drugs, sex, weapons, and other things they view as momentarily satisfying, but easily fleeting.In Matthew Chapter 3:17 God says, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased”. Our young men in today’s society need to hear this more from their fathers, if our heavenly father can say it to his son, why can’t earthly fathers say it to their sons? Maybe if this were the case, our young men in our Black and other communities would not have as many violent deaths as they do. Let us all remember the two institutions that desire our children, Educational and Institutional. It is up to us as men to guide our children to the correct one.Fathers must realize the responsibility of their place in a child’s life regardless if they are in the home or not, regardless of the “Baby Mama Drama” that sometimes happens. It is cowardice to make excuses for not calling or writing just to say “I love you” and “How are you doing”. It is inexcusable for not taking time to eat lunch with your child, but we can take the time to “run with the boys”. How many more cases of our young men dropping out of school, physical aggression towards women, drugs, crime and violence will it take for more men to tell their sons, “I Love You” and I’m proud of you. Fathering is a balance of discipline, love, negotiation, trust and communication. It does not come easy as I can testify being a parent.

The goal is to help raise productive adults who will lead positive and God loving lives. As the African proverb states, “it takes a village to raise a leader” (Paterson, K 2001, http://www.racematters.org/ittakesavillage.htm). Our village; the African American community needs to unite our Black men and start loving and teaching our young Black men to pray and be prayerful in all things before we lose yet another generation. It is not the mayors, nor the governors, nor the Presidents responsibility to raise Black men, but the responsibility of Black men to raise Black men. Men that respect women, respect community and first respect and pray to an almighty God. We as men have a bond that extends generations. That transpired to and from the Mother Land. When are we going to live up to the legacy of Kings, Generals, Teachers, Physicians, Pastors, Scientists and community leaders? It takes a leader, but the men are supposed to lead first. What will it take for more of us to start leading?

William Jackson, M.Ed.
(c) Copyright William Jackson 2008. All rights reserved.